It is often said that you meet people for a reason. Well
over my 7 years of vicious dating, I met many people. I tried dating in all its
many glorious forms.
First of all I signed
up to RSVP which is a well advertised and from my understanding a well
patronised online dating site. My best friend at the time ( and luckily for me
and her she still is) signed me up over a bottle or more of Sav Blanc. I say it
was due to her superior typing and word skills that she did the finger work.
Either that or shall was experimenting vicariously through me. ... So what to
say of those times? I met some lovely people a few of which are still Facebook friends
or more. I chatted with some interesting chaps who I’m sure were perfect for
someone else – just not me. I interacted with some downright dodgy characters
who didn’t even graduate to getting my phone number.
Tired from the effort I thought I needed something which
skipped the list keeping stage and jumped straight to the ‘do we have
chemistry?’ stage. Speed Dating! Convinced by same said friend, one Sunday
afternoon we went speed dating. She swore that friends of hers had done it, had
fun and connected with some lovely gentlemen. Well, not one of those lovely
gentlemen, were in our session. It appears that we scored the tradies from
Narre Warren whose leisure activities stretched as wide as watching tv lounging
on the couch whilst drinking beer to huntin’, shootin’ AND fishin’.
I devoured a few of those popular paperbacks “He’s Just Not That
Into You” dating rules and how to find Mr Right kind of books. I turned up
looking good even when I didn’t necessarily felt like it. I kept my eyes open
to men in all circumstances even in the local fruit shop. And one day whilst
waiting in a popular Melbourne restaurant for a friend (I’m always early. In
fact if I’m late it just means that I’m on time)I met a man who I spent 14
months with. This was what I termed an organic meeting - all chemistry and no list
ticking. He wasn’t Mr Perfect. In fact he probably wasn’t even Mr Halfway-there.
We had fun together. We both liked good food and good wine and good movies. I
always knew it wasn’t forever but it sure was a fun 14 months.
I even went clubbing with friends which only reinforced that
it wasn’t my scene. I have trouble concentrating with background noise, always
have. As a mother of 2 teenage daughters, I sincerely doubt that Mr Right or
even Mr Almost Right was going to be hanging out in a noisy doof doof club.
So I figured it was back to online dating for me. This time
I surveyed my friends. Which sites might be fruitful for the kind of man that I
was looking for? Some of the free ones turned out to be big hook up sites which
wasn’t what I was looking for. On a side note, I’ve always found that as a semi
confident woman, sex for sex’s sake hasn’t actually been all that difficult to
find. Certain other sites seemed to demand you fill out essay length forms
before anything would even go live. I
found one that was a happy medium. Never one to pay any money, I signed up for
my free profile and filled out the necessary questions. Forget that I
incorrectly spelt my profile name – not that anyone ever picked me up on it. I
was off and running.
One gentleman in particular seemed to continually check out
my profile. Quick check of the photos –
ok..Peruse his question responses – nothing to raise any concerns there. DAMN!
He’s in Perth. How come his profile states location as Melbourne? Oh, he’s
moving to Melbourne in a week. Nice..fresh meat. We connect. We email. We talk
on the phone. A couple of weeks later, several days after he moves to Melbourne,
we have our first date. I warn him to wear his serious walking shoes as I’ve planned
a 4 hour walking tour of my glorious city. He was such a gentleman and after
driving him home all I could think was that I wanted to spend more time in his
company.
One time I sat down and listed the reasons I met certain
men. Moreover, these are the things I learnt about myself while dating these
men. Please note the names have been changed to protect the innocent. They are
in no particular order and I promise the names are made up so there’s no point
trying to figure it out.
Simon – I need someone who is willing to be part of my
greater family
Matthew– I need someone with brains as well as a hot body
that he knows how to use
Pete – I need someone who matches my inner age
Chris – I need someone who I find sexually appealing
Adam – I need someone who doesn’t spend longer getting ready
than I do.
Craig – I deserve someone who doesn’t keep me waiting whilst
he answers a work call while having dinner with me
Greg – I need someone who doesn’t refer to me as simply ‘a
friend’
Martin– I need someone who is willing to be with me and my
children.
Ben – I deserve someone who is motivated and on track
financially
David -I want someone who has a strong interest in good food
and wine/beer
Jason - I deserve someone who is generous of spirit
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